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Have you ever felt the sensation of being freshly in love? That irrational, unending joy that comes from discovering the most important thing in the world? That rush, that thrill, that feeling of the last piece falling into place, that seems like it can beat anything, surmount anything? I feel that every day.

I feel it for you.

Now understand, this is pure love, agape love. Not that crude, slimy sexual love (which I only feel for most of you). Self-sacrificing love.

When your dad spanked you, he hated it, and hated himself, but he knew it was necessary. That was the depth of his love. And that is a small part of the love I feel for you.

If I could, I would give you a nice, friendly spanking, right there, right then. I'd fold you over my knee, and swat your little hiney until it was bright red, as a gentle, loving punishment for the bad, nasty, awful things I know you have done. And I will love you as I do it. And if I had time enough, I would spank the whole world.

So few have the luck to live under a leader who cares enough to give spankings.

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party

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