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Christianity and Scorched Earth Party:

A Comparison

Christianity: Scorched Earth Party:
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Religion Political Party
Uses gentle hymns to lull Uses old Queen tapes to excite members participants into killing frenzy
Heavily used by mindless Makes heavy use of mindless trolls and bigots trolls and bigots
Sex frowned upon Sex great way to get ahead
Ritualistic eating of flesh Ritualistic eating of flesh and blood of founder and blood of members
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost Lead pipes, mindless violence, and Mentos
Believe all true followers will be sucked up into Heaven during Rapture Believe this event will be a great aid in our domination plans
Turns other cheek Finds cheek to be lousy target, as lead pipe just bounces off
Heavy emphasis on crucifixion Heavy emphasis on crucifixion

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party

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